Name your brand

Hello there, what's up?! How you doooiiinn? (Insert creepy grin) Sorry... It's late and for some reason every time I try to sleep I start singing the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme because I happened to watch a video of Will Smith performing it on a British talk show. Wow. Yeah I apparently need sleep because I just went on a tangent about Will Smith. But, I bet ten bucks you know every word... And now you won't be able to stop...ever.  *welcome to my hell :)*
Annnyyyywho... Today as we were getting ready to venture out into the world with the midgets (no offense to any one who may be of a lower number on a measuring tape) I was trying to decide what to wear...when it hit me that my closet looks like it belongs to a paranoid schizophrenic suffering from multiple personality disorder. (Once again...no offense to anyone who may be silently *or not so silently* suffering from either of those not so awesome mental disorders). Did I mention I'm tired? I digress... My clothing varies of looks from...
Average mom: jeans, t shirt, north face zip up and loafers
Hipster: skinny jeans, off the shoulder sweat shirt with coordinating under tank, and glasses
Punk rock: mostly black with slouchy boots and maybe my hot pink glasses
Trendy hippy: skinny jeans with holes and a flowy floral shirt with my flip flops and a brown belt
Emo: hot pink skinny jeans (yes I really own a pair) t shirt with a dumb saying in it like "I mustache you a question but I will shave it for later" *I have a not so quiet love for all things with mustaches on it* my and I would probably wear my black flats. (Bc emo is black...like the color of my heart... Bc life is sad...for no apparent reason)
Trendy mom: skinny jeans with glittery patches, white tank, lengthy cover, big purse and big sunglasses to match with my favorite grey flats
Courtney Kardashian: dress of many colors with a beaded neck and open back.. It's ridiculous. But...really..so am I sometimes.
Church mom: below the knee floral skirt, 3/4 length color coordinated shirt, cute shimmery flats
I really don't give a shit: leggings, tunic length shirt, my fav juicy boots, hair in a bun with a stretchy band to keep the fly always at bay.
Cosmo mom: mint green skinny jeans, cami, pink polka dot see through button down, shineynflats and quaint jewelry.

This list could seriously go on forever. The caveman barely has anything in our closet bc my personalities take up too much space. It's sad really... Bc short of Walmart or the park, I don't get out much.

So, standing there trying to decide my alter ego for the day... Got me thinking... Why in the world do I have every style imaginable in my wardrobe?! And then of course the battle of the craziness played out in my head as follows...

Hipster: bc your 27 and can rock skinny jeans and hipster glasses!
Courtney: and that dress is quick and cute and any color shoe goes with it bc no one can see your feet anyway!
Idgas ( I don't give a shit): not to mention half the time no amount of caffeine shirt of an I'VE drip could give you enough energy to make a decision on your own appearance when you have spent the day making everyone else's descriptions on EVERYTHING! DUH!
Punk rock: remember all those tattoos you have? The lip ring? And your love for rock music? You can't just give that up bc you're a wife and mom now...the rock gods of the 80's would never forgive you,
Church mom: when you have to drop the kids off at a function, go to church, or you know if these people see your tattoos they are going to FLIP! (Even though I do get a silent giggle from watching people's faces when a sleeve slides up or down and reveals that both my upper arms are covered. LOL! Yep... This awesome mom of three who you just sat next to and knew every word to the Christian song, bowed her head to pray and loves Jesus...has a crap load of body art...nah nah nah nah nah)
Cosmo mom: Omg. It's like so easy to just throw on and like...look great! For real! Like... O.M.G.
Trendy: bc Victoria Beckhamn don't have nada on your ensemble you got at TJ Maxx bc you know you don't have a reason to pay ful price when there are diapers to be bought... Get it giiiirrrrlll!

And... Me: screw it... Give me my leggings and hoody...I'm out!