Hello there, what's up?! How you doooiiinn? (Insert creepy grin) Sorry... It's late and for some reason every time I try to sleep I start singing the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme because I happened to watch a video of Will Smith performing it on a British talk show. Wow. Yeah I apparently need sleep because I just went on a tangent about Will Smith. But, I bet ten bucks you know every word... And now you won't be able to stop...ever. *welcome to my hell :)*
Annnyyyywho... Today as we were getting ready to venture out into the world with the midgets (no offense to any one who may be of a lower number on a measuring tape) I was trying to decide what to wear...when it hit me that my closet looks like it belongs to a paranoid schizophrenic suffering from multiple personality disorder. (Once again...no offense to anyone who may be silently *or not so silently* suffering from either of those not so awesome mental disorders). Did I mention I'm tired? I digress... My clothing varies of looks from...
Average mom: jeans, t shirt, north face zip up and loafers
Hipster: skinny jeans, off the shoulder sweat shirt with coordinating under tank, and glasses
Punk rock: mostly black with slouchy boots and maybe my hot pink glasses
Trendy hippy: skinny jeans with holes and a flowy floral shirt with my flip flops and a brown belt
Emo: hot pink skinny jeans (yes I really own a pair) t shirt with a dumb saying in it like "I mustache you a question but I will shave it for later" *I have a not so quiet love for all things with mustaches on it* my and I would probably wear my black flats. (Bc emo is black...like the color of my heart... Bc life is sad...for no apparent reason)
Trendy mom: skinny jeans with glittery patches, white tank, lengthy cover, big purse and big sunglasses to match with my favorite grey flats
Courtney Kardashian: dress of many colors with a beaded neck and open back.. It's ridiculous. But...really..so am I sometimes.
Church mom: below the knee floral skirt, 3/4 length color coordinated shirt, cute shimmery flats
I really don't give a shit: leggings, tunic length shirt, my fav juicy boots, hair in a bun with a stretchy band to keep the fly always at bay.
Cosmo mom: mint green skinny jeans, cami, pink polka dot see through button down, shineynflats and quaint jewelry.
This list could seriously go on forever. The caveman barely has anything in our closet bc my personalities take up too much space. It's sad really... Bc short of Walmart or the park, I don't get out much.
So, standing there trying to decide my alter ego for the day... Got me thinking... Why in the world do I have every style imaginable in my wardrobe?! And then of course the battle of the craziness played out in my head as follows...
Hipster: bc your 27 and can rock skinny jeans and hipster glasses!
Courtney: and that dress is quick and cute and any color shoe goes with it bc no one can see your feet anyway!
Idgas ( I don't give a shit): not to mention half the time no amount of caffeine shirt of an I'VE drip could give you enough energy to make a decision on your own appearance when you have spent the day making everyone else's descriptions on EVERYTHING! DUH!
Punk rock: remember all those tattoos you have? The lip ring? And your love for rock music? You can't just give that up bc you're a wife and mom now...the rock gods of the 80's would never forgive you,
Church mom: when you have to drop the kids off at a function, go to church, or you know if these people see your tattoos they are going to FLIP! (Even though I do get a silent giggle from watching people's faces when a sleeve slides up or down and reveals that both my upper arms are covered. LOL! Yep... This awesome mom of three who you just sat next to and knew every word to the Christian song, bowed her head to pray and loves Jesus...has a crap load of body art...nah nah nah nah nah)
Cosmo mom: Omg. It's like so easy to just throw on and like...look great! For real! Like... O.M.G.
Trendy: bc Victoria Beckhamn don't have nada on your ensemble you got at TJ Maxx bc you know you don't have a reason to pay ful price when there are diapers to be bought... Get it giiiirrrrlll!
And... Me: screw it... Give me my leggings and hoody...I'm out!
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Welcome back!!!
Long time no talk! I know... It's my fault. I'm a horrible friend that allowed my crazy life/kids get in the way of our beautiful yet new relationship. I hang my head in shame... Really... I do. :,( 
This is the old seventies emerald green crap I pulled up... Which is a lot harder than I thought it would be. (Thank God I'm built like an amazon)
Nonetheless lets gets on with it. Wipe your tears, put your big girl panties on and grab your coffee!
So, my dumbass decided to start the renovation on the kitchen. Tire up the vinyl tile only to find that whatever prior dumbass that laid it used an adhesive that never solidified. *smack forehead here*
I was planning on taking up the tile and staining the subfloor a cool way... Epic fail! Because my kitchen is now a 20x12 fly trap. What I though was going to be a 20$ one day overhaul... Thanks to Pinterest (whom lies frequently).
But, after a few rants, throwing of tools, and exasperated methods of removing the goo... I decided... Plywood planks!
We will be able to completely redo our floors for under 80$ and I couldn't be happier! It's takes care of the odd gaps between the floor and the trim (old buildings settle) and... I get new pretty yet old looking floors for way under the cost of laminate, vinyl or heaven forbid hard wood flooring! Yay me! *Insert happy dance here*
This is the stupid sticky crap that has, I kid you not, taken a flip flop, rocks and even Lil Bit hostage...
So there is the before and this weekend I will post the after!
BTW... Once again, sorry about the long pause in my blogging. I sincerely promise it will not happen again!
Thanks for stopping by and I will keep the coffee warm for ya!
Friday, May 3, 2013
You changed my life...
It's 930pm and we just put the girls to bed. An hour and a half past their usual time due to grocery shopping. (I hate grocery shopping) And I'm laying here listening to my two tiny ones giggle and make noise and can't help but think...
Thing one will be four next month and Lil bit will be one.
Five years ago if you would have told me I was going to be a stay at home mom of three crazy kids and a second time wife to an amazing man... I would have probably spit my Alabama slammer in your face with laughter.
Anyone that knew me before motherhood can vouch that I was a different breed of young woman. I was selfish in every aspect of the word. (Gotta look out for number one or you'll step in nber two is what the donor used to say) (or don't get attached to anyone or anything you can't turn your back on in 30seconds or less) *may I add now that I'm a mother the sting of those words resonate deep in me as I realized it didn't take that long for him to turn his back* I digress... I was impatient, intolerable, and down right insatiable. I never wanted to get married because I e seen enough of divorce to "know" marriage was nothing but a piece of paper and where is the fun of being with one person for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?! I didn't value family. Friends were of my convenience and if you didn't want to be around me or do what I didn't want to do... F off. (Which was probably my favorite word for a long time) I wanted to do what I wanted to do where and with whom I wanted to.
I made a lot of mistakes. Broke a lot of hearts. Burned a lot of bridges and probably a lot of eyes with tears. (Mostly my moms probably)
I hated kids. I only babysat a hand full of times and really spent as little time with my little sister as possible. That's a regret I live with every day. Because by the time I wanted to spend time with her she was busy living her life as a teenager and is now married with a beautiful little munchkin of her own living in sunny FL.
So, my point is... Almost five years ago I was *gasp* married. To a short lived fling and living in Hawaii when I found out we were expecting. It might sound bad but it was his idea to have a baby because and I quote "he wanted a family to come home to a after deployment". So... We got pregnant. It was horrible. He was horrible. I gained almost 100 lbs and was borderline preeclampsia. I didn't have cankles I had thankles... I was in a horrible marriage on an island half a world away from anyone I knew and was slowly starting to realize I was going to a single mom...
Needless to say I hated my life.
Then... On June 24th 2009 at 2 am I went into labor. Twenty eight hours later surrounded by my close knit army wife girl friends I was holding a 7lb 11oz baby girl. And instantly I was a different person.
I not only needed to care for her, hold her, comfort her, love her, feed her etc... I wanted to. With every fiber of my being I wanted to. I wanted to do everything and more for this tiny little human that I was now responsible for keeping alive and molding into who would one day be a woman.
I wanted to never let go of her.
For the first time in my life I felt an unconditional love. (I have mommy and daddy issues so I had literally never felt it) But now I did... And it was amazing.
She taught me patience... In every way. She brought a sense of calm to me. She taught me to laugh at the bullshit. The first time she ever laughed was when I was sitting in our crappy studio apartment with no heat and a futon for a bed crying over some guy I don't remember the name of. I was sobbing... She looked at me and busted out laughing... And since then I rarely cry over "spilled milk". She taught me to love. Unconditionally. Without fail. She taught me that family. Her. Is more important than anything else. Because no matter what my family is what's here at the end of the day. She taught me that's ok to go in public in my holey jeans a t-shirt and my hair in a pony (anyone that knew me pre kids knows I NEVER went anywhere without the nines) She has taught me in four years more than anyone in my entire life has ever taught me in twenty seven. And you know what... Adding two more to the mix... Has taught me that I really am bat shit crazy! LOL! Kidding... Kind of ;)
Thing one will be four next month and Lil bit will be one.
Five years ago if you would have told me I was going to be a stay at home mom of three crazy kids and a second time wife to an amazing man... I would have probably spit my Alabama slammer in your face with laughter.
Anyone that knew me before motherhood can vouch that I was a different breed of young woman. I was selfish in every aspect of the word. (Gotta look out for number one or you'll step in nber two is what the donor used to say) (or don't get attached to anyone or anything you can't turn your back on in 30seconds or less) *may I add now that I'm a mother the sting of those words resonate deep in me as I realized it didn't take that long for him to turn his back* I digress... I was impatient, intolerable, and down right insatiable. I never wanted to get married because I e seen enough of divorce to "know" marriage was nothing but a piece of paper and where is the fun of being with one person for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?! I didn't value family. Friends were of my convenience and if you didn't want to be around me or do what I didn't want to do... F off. (Which was probably my favorite word for a long time) I wanted to do what I wanted to do where and with whom I wanted to.
I made a lot of mistakes. Broke a lot of hearts. Burned a lot of bridges and probably a lot of eyes with tears. (Mostly my moms probably)
I hated kids. I only babysat a hand full of times and really spent as little time with my little sister as possible. That's a regret I live with every day. Because by the time I wanted to spend time with her she was busy living her life as a teenager and is now married with a beautiful little munchkin of her own living in sunny FL.
So, my point is... Almost five years ago I was *gasp* married. To a short lived fling and living in Hawaii when I found out we were expecting. It might sound bad but it was his idea to have a baby because and I quote "he wanted a family to come home to a after deployment". So... We got pregnant. It was horrible. He was horrible. I gained almost 100 lbs and was borderline preeclampsia. I didn't have cankles I had thankles... I was in a horrible marriage on an island half a world away from anyone I knew and was slowly starting to realize I was going to a single mom...
Needless to say I hated my life.
Then... On June 24th 2009 at 2 am I went into labor. Twenty eight hours later surrounded by my close knit army wife girl friends I was holding a 7lb 11oz baby girl. And instantly I was a different person.
I not only needed to care for her, hold her, comfort her, love her, feed her etc... I wanted to. With every fiber of my being I wanted to. I wanted to do everything and more for this tiny little human that I was now responsible for keeping alive and molding into who would one day be a woman.
I wanted to never let go of her.
For the first time in my life I felt an unconditional love. (I have mommy and daddy issues so I had literally never felt it) But now I did... And it was amazing.
She taught me patience... In every way. She brought a sense of calm to me. She taught me to laugh at the bullshit. The first time she ever laughed was when I was sitting in our crappy studio apartment with no heat and a futon for a bed crying over some guy I don't remember the name of. I was sobbing... She looked at me and busted out laughing... And since then I rarely cry over "spilled milk". She taught me to love. Unconditionally. Without fail. She taught me that family. Her. Is more important than anything else. Because no matter what my family is what's here at the end of the day. She taught me that's ok to go in public in my holey jeans a t-shirt and my hair in a pony (anyone that knew me pre kids knows I NEVER went anywhere without the nines) She has taught me in four years more than anyone in my entire life has ever taught me in twenty seven. And you know what... Adding two more to the mix... Has taught me that I really am bat shit crazy! LOL! Kidding... Kind of ;)
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Battle of the jobs
While the cavemean was running late for work for what seemed like the millionth time I couldn't help but ask myself... Should I get a job outside of the home?
Once again I found myself doubting our current situation and a feeling of uncertainty coming over me. If any of you have OCD like myself you know, as well as I do, that is not a welcomed feeling.
So, while weighing the pros and cons of leaving the homestead and venturing out into the vast laborers world... I decided... No thanks.
Call me old fashioned, paranoid, or just plain obsessed with my babies I truly believe a mothers place is in the home with their children. I know, that times have changed and women have the ability to have amazing careers or maybe due to life's circumstances they are just not able to. There is nothing wrong with that. So before you close out of my blog and mark me as an old fashioned nut bag... Hear me out.
Every day my FB, news, and other means of social media are flooded with horror stories of abused, neglected, or mistreated children in daycare centers. Shooting or stabbings in schools. Suicide due to bullying. Teen pregnancy. Etc. and I may not be that old but I do know that when I was in school Columbine was the biggest and almost only known horror in a school. I got picked on... Bad... But it never made me want to go homicidal. Kids were not on adderall or other mind or mood altering substances. Boys were hyper and girls were hormonal. It's the way of life. Why do you think the timeless saying is "boys will be boys" or "he is ALL boy for sure!" Came about?
I guess it's just pure fear that I will send my kids to daycare and find out down the road that they were put in a room in a car seat alone for hours and strangled by their seat strap, or tied up ("claiming to be swaddled") at the age of one and left to cry. What about my own troubles with daycare when I did work and thing one came home with a bite mark so bad it was bleeding on her back? Or my little sister left in a high chair after she had an accident simply because "she needed to finish her lunch"
I'm not saying any of this to deter mothers from using child care outside of their own home or to say that you're a bad mom if you work. I'm not saying this to put down women's rights or what not. I'm saying this because there are so many factors that come into play with children now a days outside of the home. Schools are pushing advanced education on young children, people are jumping at the chance to point a finger or pick up a phone to call the authorities if you send your kid to school in a less than prime outfit (stained or whatever) (not that I do that or have been called on) but seriously... If you leave your kids in the car while you run in to pay for your gas... You could be in deep shit. If you forget to give your kid lunch ,only or pack a lunch, you're neglectful. If you send your child to a sitter or daycare that is not licensed, regulated, or state du des and something happens to them... You could get in just as much trouble...
I guess I just wish the days of letting your kids walk to the corner store, ride their bike to school across town... Or even stay the night at a friends house are missed by this momma. When stay at home moms were a normal thing. Kids got fed full regular meals, and not fast food. Where you were sent outside at summer and told not to come back till sundown. I didn't get a cell phone till I graduated high school. We were allowed a regulated amount of tv time and we had chores. A page of chores a day. We were taught to take care of the things we had and eat the food in front of us. I got my mouth washed out with soap... Do that now and it's abuse. My mom scared the crap out of me and I'm not gonna lie that even now sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm not 10 when she gets mad. But it was a respectful fear. I never called her names, I never talked down to her, I was scared to death to get caught doing something "bad" but that wasn't because she beat me...nit was because I didn't want to disappoint her.
Respect is unheard of in today's youth and we have become greedy and oh so quick to to pass of the kids. (Once again reiterating not all working moms) Don't get me wrong, I would love the daily adult interaction, getting snazzed up on the regular, having a conversation that consisted of more than octonauts latest adventure... But... I missed a lot in ting 1s early stages that I wish everyday I could make up but I can't. So, where as the extra money And social life along with intellectual advancing sounds fantastic... I think the ABCs and Minnie's Bowtique will be just fine for me... Until they are in all day school...at least... Maybe ;)
Once again I found myself doubting our current situation and a feeling of uncertainty coming over me. If any of you have OCD like myself you know, as well as I do, that is not a welcomed feeling.
So, while weighing the pros and cons of leaving the homestead and venturing out into the vast laborers world... I decided... No thanks.
Call me old fashioned, paranoid, or just plain obsessed with my babies I truly believe a mothers place is in the home with their children. I know, that times have changed and women have the ability to have amazing careers or maybe due to life's circumstances they are just not able to. There is nothing wrong with that. So before you close out of my blog and mark me as an old fashioned nut bag... Hear me out.
Every day my FB, news, and other means of social media are flooded with horror stories of abused, neglected, or mistreated children in daycare centers. Shooting or stabbings in schools. Suicide due to bullying. Teen pregnancy. Etc. and I may not be that old but I do know that when I was in school Columbine was the biggest and almost only known horror in a school. I got picked on... Bad... But it never made me want to go homicidal. Kids were not on adderall or other mind or mood altering substances. Boys were hyper and girls were hormonal. It's the way of life. Why do you think the timeless saying is "boys will be boys" or "he is ALL boy for sure!" Came about?
I guess it's just pure fear that I will send my kids to daycare and find out down the road that they were put in a room in a car seat alone for hours and strangled by their seat strap, or tied up ("claiming to be swaddled") at the age of one and left to cry. What about my own troubles with daycare when I did work and thing one came home with a bite mark so bad it was bleeding on her back? Or my little sister left in a high chair after she had an accident simply because "she needed to finish her lunch"
I'm not saying any of this to deter mothers from using child care outside of their own home or to say that you're a bad mom if you work. I'm not saying this to put down women's rights or what not. I'm saying this because there are so many factors that come into play with children now a days outside of the home. Schools are pushing advanced education on young children, people are jumping at the chance to point a finger or pick up a phone to call the authorities if you send your kid to school in a less than prime outfit (stained or whatever) (not that I do that or have been called on) but seriously... If you leave your kids in the car while you run in to pay for your gas... You could be in deep shit. If you forget to give your kid lunch ,only or pack a lunch, you're neglectful. If you send your child to a sitter or daycare that is not licensed, regulated, or state du des and something happens to them... You could get in just as much trouble...
I guess I just wish the days of letting your kids walk to the corner store, ride their bike to school across town... Or even stay the night at a friends house are missed by this momma. When stay at home moms were a normal thing. Kids got fed full regular meals, and not fast food. Where you were sent outside at summer and told not to come back till sundown. I didn't get a cell phone till I graduated high school. We were allowed a regulated amount of tv time and we had chores. A page of chores a day. We were taught to take care of the things we had and eat the food in front of us. I got my mouth washed out with soap... Do that now and it's abuse. My mom scared the crap out of me and I'm not gonna lie that even now sometimes I have to remind myself that I'm not 10 when she gets mad. But it was a respectful fear. I never called her names, I never talked down to her, I was scared to death to get caught doing something "bad" but that wasn't because she beat me...nit was because I didn't want to disappoint her.
Respect is unheard of in today's youth and we have become greedy and oh so quick to to pass of the kids. (Once again reiterating not all working moms) Don't get me wrong, I would love the daily adult interaction, getting snazzed up on the regular, having a conversation that consisted of more than octonauts latest adventure... But... I missed a lot in ting 1s early stages that I wish everyday I could make up but I can't. So, where as the extra money And social life along with intellectual advancing sounds fantastic... I think the ABCs and Minnie's Bowtique will be just fine for me... Until they are in all day school...at least... Maybe ;)
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