Yea... About that!

Wat up home skillet?! Not much here just maxin n relaxin and actin all cool :)
So once again I'm a slacker and haven't updated in a hot minute but I'm here now and that's a
all that matters... Right?! Right!
While talking with my bestie about current events in my life I realized that I am an open book. And where as that was my like it or leave it personality of my pre mom life... I'm not too sure I'm kosher with it now. But it's like a sickness... People ask questions and the word puke just starts flowing and next thing you know we are talking about highly inappropriate things when all I was asked was "How ya been?!"
I don't know if its because of my lack of adult conversation, deep seeded need to feel accepted, or simply because my ADD has a life of its own. But, it needs to stop.
There is no mystery.
There is no... Who's that girl?
There is no silence LOL
So today I make a point to shut my trap. One day at a time. I'm almost 30... I don't need to give details, personal info, or explanations for much of anything... And today is number one of becoming "mysterious" LOL

Boom! Mind blown...

Wazzzzuuuuppp?! LOL who is old enough to know where that one came from?

The other day while walking through pier one imports (more like as we walk into the store) Lil Bit blows chunks all over me, herself, the floor, and some merchandise that got caught in the splatter, I realized just how many things in life my children have taught me. So I made a list... Lets see how many of your parents out there pick up what I'm putting down?!

1. Humility: have you ever tried to discretely pass gas somewhere with a four year old around? It's like they have sonar hearing... Bc just as you think you got away with it... They say on a very loud level "Mom! You just farted!!" 

2. Insanity: it's true definition is "doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result" Have any of you ever tried time out? Or trying to get a 2 yr old to eat? The list is endless... Parenting is insane.

3. Math: while shopping and my younger self reaches for the 20$ bottle of Big Sexy hairspray... The mom me can efficiently calculate how many other items I could get with the 20$. Damn. Ugh. Fine... Mom me wins and I get the 3$ bottle and five other items on my list.

4. Spelling: I was excellent in English and spelling through out school but whoa! Is it hat to spell inappropriate words without a pen and paper! Or for that matter... Trying to figure out what the hell the caveman just spelled to me! LOL

5. Patience: I used to pray for patience until my uncle informed me that by praying for patience God will give you trial... I think three small children... One with ADD, one that is 3 going on 13 and one that will literally not remove herself from my side is trial enough for me to have the patience of Mother Theresa!

6. Time management: does. Not. Exist. It never fails that as I'm rushing out the door someone shits their pants, has to pee, throws a temper tantrum bc they want the purple shoes not the pink, or I ant find my keys bc one of the angels has hidden them somewhere. So my always punctual anally retentive organized self has thrown in the towel and accepted that this family will always be fashionably late. 

7. Housekeeping: if it can be reached, it will be eaten, broken, colored on or used as a weapon. 

8. Irony: you love these little creatures with every fiber of your being. Unconditionally. But as we all know... That love does not protect us from the need to have a break! So you send them to grandmas for the weekend... Only to check on them repeatedly, miss the noise and all the little things that drive you nuts about em! WTH?!

9. First aid: you may have no medical skills what so ever but if your kid gets hurt you will all the sudden have the skills of McGiver and the reflexes of Spider Man. 

10. Fitness: I don't know a mom that can't carry a kid, a purse, diaper bag, groceries, while digging for keys walking up the stairs, talking on the phone! 

So there it is... There's more but I don't want to bore you with it all at once! If you can think of some feel free to comment!

Isn't it ironic?

Ello mate! Top a the mornin to ya? Would ya care for a spot a tea? Maybe some coffee? 

LOL not sure if that's British or Australian but I gave it a shot! 

So, last night... After a repetitive argument over a repetitive issue I got to thinking about a few things that were mentioned. Such as, how I'm offered to unwind, relax and have a few cocktails on a regular basis but never seem to take up the offer. Like I'm too good to drink or something. 

First, that is not true. I love a deep margarita or a strong Alabama slammer with grenadine better than the next lady. Trust me when I say... There are numerous times I wish I could slip on in the nearest dive bar and get lost in fruity heaven. But... Oddly enough, the most stressful job I've ever had (being a momma!) and my reason for wanting alcoholic bliss is also the reason that I so painstakingly don't. 

If you know me at you know that I'm a little (lot) on the over thinker side. It's like brain doesn't stop. Meaning, in my head the scenario goes as this...

Just as I'm sucking down that last morsel of my 4th strawberry margarita with a sugar rim, enjoying the night out, the girls are at my moms and the caveman and I are having a blast... The phone rings and its my mom saying Thing 1 fell and broke her arm and they are at the ER... Yep, I would then have to either not go bc I'm three shades of lit up... Or... Show up and pray no one can smell the Jose seeping out of my pores. Not. Gonna. Happen. 

Now, I'm not saying its a bad thing to relax and enjoy a cocktail or two on a slow pace... But slamming em' and stumbling out of dive barely able to tell right from left. No thanks. 

Not only does the loss of self control and my surroundings not sound appealing at the least but I, like so many other moms know that just because the kids are away... Doesn't mean my responsibility stops. If they have a nightmare and want mommy, I want to be able to go and pick them up. If they get hurt. I want to be there. Sound mind. Clear thoughts. And a big heart. 

So, isn't it ironic that the point in your life where you can probably come up with every reason in the book to knock back a few... Are also the reasons why it doesn't sound appealing? I said goodbye to my red solo cup and hello to the sippy cup bc my late nights would rather be spent with the clear certainty and that I can always be there for my family :)